Be involved in their Education. All too often school is where they really start getting into serious trouble. It is where they make “Friends.” It is often a very frustrating place for them.
Public School – One national speaker said that if you were going to design the very worst place for these kids it would be public school. However, there are some schools doing a great job helping kids with FASD. They are usually schools which have received special training, and which have embraced FASD. They are schools in which the parents are part of the “Team.” Educate your school about FASD.
IEP’s. First chose your IEP team carefully. Make sure you have people on your team who understand FASD. After the child turns 14 they will have a transitional IEP. I believe you should be moving in that direction before then. Team is a very important word in this. Try hard to make it a team effort. Your child needs it.
I know some parents who have written into their child’s IEP, “No homework.” I know other parents who want their child to have homework, because it gives their child structure in the evening. The I in IEP stands for individual, the plan should be tailored to each student. The plan should be a team effort, with the parent having a lot of say. Most of the time the parent knows what is best for their child. I believe that the professionals need to listen to the parent and then find solutions rather than telling the parent what their child needs.
Concrete Vs. Abstract – most of our children are very concrete and it causes them problems and frustrations in both academics and behaviors. (Blue shirt)
Sometimes when I ask some of my children a question, I want to say, “Why won’t you answer me?” Some of them have a problem retrieving information. Many times a delayed response from them is not defiance, but that they are still trying to figure out the question. (Sort of like a stroke victim.) Imagine what this must be like for both them and their teacher.
A professional explained to me once that one reason many children get into trouble at school is because they cannot do the academics. He said according to kid thinking it is “kind of cool” to be a troublemaker, but it is not ok to be stupid. So if your child is a trouble maker see if it’s because they do not understand the work.
School needs to be as non-frustrating as possible.
Many kids with FASD find it very hard to understand Time and Money. They may be able to do it on paper, but not transfer the concept into life. (Broken blue slinky)($4.50 - $55.00 remote control)
Give them the opportunity to go as far as they can. Gently push them, be there for them when they can’t go any further, back off the pushing, and then revisit it again later. They are continually growing and maturing and developing, but often much slower rate than their peers.
Even if a student has the intelligence to go to college they may not be able to because socially they may not have the ability. So they need to either do something else or they need assistance.(Stealing at Walmart)
So we made the discussion to school at home.
The first time I went to our special-ed department I asked, “How long do I have to try to teach the difference between nouns & pronouns?” His reply was, “Teach life skills, life skills, life skills.”
This has been really hard for us to really understand. It is so contrary to our school experience, but it really does help them and us.
Our children with FASD are learning more academically in 2 hours now than they use to in 6 hours.
Our School is going the best it ever has. The following is the schedule we are currently using.
- Before breakfast: room clean up, be available to help with household chores, meals or childcare.
8:30- 9: eating and explain the plan for the day, teaching, and devotions.
-9 - 12: house clean up, chores, projects, and make bread - which is a life skills, They do PE, and they do crafts. Crafts include pottery, hand and machine sewing, crocheting, beading, and basketry.
-12 - 1:30: lunch, dishes, maybe free time.
-1:30 - 3:30: academics, sometimes group school but usually self directed studies. During this time they can be taken by an adult for special instruction or for a project. Learning the life skill of two hours of focused no nonsense work is very important.
-3:30 - before dinner: free time but must ask permission for what they want to do. They would not say, “May I go outside,” must be specific. Some may help do other things at this point, such as helping to cook dinner or other chores.
It has taken years of changing to get to this point. Our schedule will change as our kids are getting older as their skill levels increase. Each child truly is different and at times needs something different.
Go and get involved in their education. Make a plan for what will work for your child.