Life Plans

Use it as a training tool, as a behavior modifier, to inspire them, to give them hope. Work on a “Life Plan” together. If possible, you need to start this process when they are around 14. They need to be involved in it. The “Life Plan” needs to be a plan of what they want in life: of where they will live, what they will do for a living, if they will marry, who their friends will be, how they will keep out of trouble. It becomes their goals. You need to talk with them about it regularly; you need to update it as they change, as their skills and desires change. You can look back at it when they are having trouble or when they are getting into trouble. The “Life Plan” becomes part of their external brain.

For many regardless of what type of home they were brought up in, if they leave home or assistance before 30-35 chances are they will fail, their life will not go well. After 30 to 35 they have a much better chance of making it. It is not because they are bad people that they fail, it’s because they will make really poor choices. They often will not learn from their mistakes, and they will make friends with people who will get them into trouble. So part of their life plan needs to be they will stay in assistance till at least 30 to 35.

Would you let an 11 year old live on their own? At age 18 many have only developed life skills of an 11 year old, and have socially developed to that of a 7 year old.

Individuals with FASD have normal desires: to live on their own, get married, have sex, have children, go on vacation, go shopping, go to restaurants, go to sporting events, to be normal.

A Life Plan can help them live a good life.