Goal 3

They need protection from the society and from themselves and the society often needs protection from them. As they get older, protecting them not only becomes more important but it is more difficult to do. They need even more external structures and controls.
You need to be a control freak. You will be judged for being too hard on the kid, and then when the kid blows it, it is your fault because you didn’t have control over your kid. You can’t win.
As our children are getting older we are locking more and more things up. This is to protect them from getting into trouble or from breaking, stealing, or ruining things.
If they can’t deal with 6 year old issues then how are they going to deal with teen and then adult issues? Our children are not getting worse as they are getting older, they are dealing with more complicated issues and they do not have the skills to handle them. Think about this when making their “Life Plan.”
Teach them to trust you and the people you say to trust.
Because they can understand the words it does not mean they understand the meaning. For example, “Don’t talk to strangers.” So you go to the park and your child meet “Jane,” and your child will tell you “Jane” is not a stranger because he knows “Jane’s” name.
Teach them not to let someone set them up. Don’t let them set you up.
Notify the police that you have a child at risk. Teach the police about de-escalation.
Make them want to stay home as a young adult, or at least stay connected. You do this by being nice to them and by making them feel that you really are on their side.
Families that are doing the best with older kids and adults with FASD are ones who have planned ahead and who are assisting their child.

They need cradle to grave support.