Goal 9

Use it as a training tool, as a behavior modifier, to inspire them, to give them hope. Work on a “Life Plan” together. If possible, you need to start this process when they are around 14. They need to be involved in it. The “Life Plan” needs to be a plan of what they want in life: of where they will live, what they will do for a living, if they will marry, who their friends will be, how they will keep out of trouble. It becomes their goals. You need to talk about it regularly; you need to update it as they change, as their skills and desires change. You can look back at it when they are having trouble or when they are getting into trouble. The “Life Plan” becomes part of their external brain.
Regardless of what type of home they were brought up in, if they leave home between the ages of 18-21 they will probably fail. If they can either stay home or in an assisted living situation until they are 30-35 then they have a much better chance of making it. It is not because they are bad people that they fail, it’s because they will make really poor choices. They often will not learn from their mistakes, and they will make friends with people who will get them into trouble.
Would you let an 11 year old live on their own? At age 18 many have only developed life skills of an 11 year old, and have socially developed to that of a 7 year old.
Individuals with FASD have normal desires: to live on their own, get married, have sex, have children, go on vacation, go shopping, go to restaurants, go to sporting events, to be normal.
Get with other parents and caregivers and create an “FASD Assisted Living Center.” Make it a place where they can have a good “Quality of Life.”
My wife and I have joined with other concerned adults and have created “HaysKids”. HaysKids will be a FASD assisted living center which will act as a protective umbrella for young adults on into their old age. We will teach life skills and do jobs training; we will also create jobs at the center. “HaysKids” will be staffed by understanding folks trained in FASD. Quality of Life will be a constant concern for both the residents and staff.

We are involved with FASD education for persons with FASD, for parents and family, support staff, professionals, and for the general public. We are also available to help others start FASD assisted living center.