http://www.hayskids.com/hayskids_031.htm This Is HaysKids's website describing the assisted living center as well as information about adoption and FASD. Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:59:57 GMT Web Easy by Avanquest Publishing USA, Inc. http://www.hayskids.com/hayskids_031.htm http://www.hayskids.com/hayskids031p00.gif The Teaching Often times a person with FASD, starts to do better in life in their late 20s to mid 30s. Life starts to make more sense, they start functioning at a higher level. Just because a person with FASD may not be ready to move out at 18-21, it does not mean they will never be able to; although many may never be able to. When thinking about helping a person and their family, four areas come to mind. • Diagnosis • Services • Parenting Techniques • Life Planning The first three are extremely important and they immediately help the person and their family. They lay the foundation for the fourth one. Without Life Planning, regardless of how well you have done in the first three areas, the person with FASD is probably going to fail. Life Planning can be as simple as making the decision that the person with FASD, will stay in your home indefinitely (many have), or as elaborate as you want to make it. We are presenting a foundation for you to use, add to, take away from, and change to fit your situation. The purpose of “Life Planning” is to give the person Transitional Skills, Hope, Realistic Expectations, and for them to set up Goals. The basic idea of “Life Planning” is to teach them about their future possibilities, to set goals, and to help them move towards those goals. The goals must be realistic; you must make a realistic plan. One problem that is specific to FASD is that most individuals with FASD function at a higher level than many with other disabilities. This gives them a false sense of what they can do. An individual with FASD may academically be able to do college level work, but they may fail due to their antisocial, unacceptable behaviors, poor choices, and friends who get them into trouble. When working on the “Life Plan” you must take into consideration behaviors, attitudes, abilities, desires, and if the plan is realistic. Each person’s “Life Plan,” must be individually put together, for each person is an individual with unique abilities and challenges. As a person becomes older their desires, skills, and challenges change. Their “Life Plan” needs to change also. Remember for the most part a person with FASD has very normal desires. As a parent, one of our jobs is to truly listen to them, and to find a way to help them fulfill their desires or to modify those desires into realistic goals. I once received a phone call from a mother whose son at the age of 30 had started drinking and he had stopped going to work. His girl friend, which he had planned on marrying, had left him. When his mother told him the reason his girl friend had left him was because he had started drinking and had stopped going to work he replied, “If she really loved me she would not have left me.” The young man needs to understand that if he really loves her then he would stop drinking and would go back to work. The price he is paying for his actions is too high. One of the problems that often comes up in a person with FASD is that they either do not accept assistance because they think they can do it on their own, or after having received assistance for awhile they decide they can do it on their own. I remember listening to a young woman who had FASD speak about her frustration because even though she would yell at those offering to help her, “I can take care of myself,” she knew she could not. When talking to our children one of the most burning desire they share is to live on their own. Another is to marry and have children. The good news is with assistance many can marry and have children. The bad news is that 80% need assisted living. With-out assistance many marriages will fail and they will not be able to raise their own children. We talk very straight forward to our children about FASD and the effect it has and will have on their lives. As with most everything you will need to teach it many times. http://www.hayskids.com/hayskids_031.htm Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:59:57 GMT HaysKids is Created By HaysKids Assisted Living Center